Thursday, November 1, 2018

Dog poop in the brownies

A father of three teenage boys had a family rule that the kids could not attend "R" rated movies. It just so happened that the boys desperately wanted to see one that was playing at local theaters.

So, they interviewed friends and even some members of their church to find out what was good, bad and/or offensive in the movie, in hopes of enabling them to make a list of the pros and cons to help convince their Dad to let them see it.

Grinning, the teens presented their Dad with the list, proudly proclaiming that they had discovered the movie contained just FEW swear words, and only a FEW violent parts … and well, okay, there were some sex scenes, but they weren’t too explicit. No big deal, really. Nothing they hadn’t been seeing on TV. Probably….

The pros, they told their father, were that it was a popular movie – a big name blockbuster with a good plot and fantastic special effects that “absolutely everyone” was raving about. Everybody who saw this movie was saying it would probably be nominated for several awards. “And Dad, many of our congregation members have seen it already, and they said they LOVED it!”

The boys figured, since there were more pros than cons, their father REALLY needed to reconsider his position about “R” rated movies .. at least for just this one, because they really, truly wanted to see it. After all, it wasn’t THAT bad!

The father quietly considered their list of pros and cons and asked them to return later in the day for his decision.

When they returned, he had a plate of freshly-baked brownies laid out on the coffee table for them. “Don’t start eating them just yet,” the father admonished. “I personally made these for you guys, but you need to know there are some pros and cons.”

The boys broke into raucous laughter. “What do you mean, Dad?” one of them asked jovially. “They’re brownies! There are no ‘cons’ when it comes to brownies!”

“There are in these brownies,” Dad replied. “You see, I made them, myself, from an award-winning recipe. I used the finest chocolate and walnuts, healthy goat milk, and other yummy ingredients. They are moist and fresh with a delightful chocolate frosting on top. Those are the pros.”

The boys looked at each other and shrugged, wondering what “dear ol’ Dad” was getting at.

“These delicious brownies,” Dad said after a pregnant pause, “contain only ONE con. I mixed in some dog poop.”

The boys gasped, staring at their father, eyes wide with shock. After several seconds someone snorted; and there was a loud giggle followed by a guffaw.

“No, really,” the father continued soberly, “I mixed in some dog poop. You guys won’t mind that, right? I mean, it’s just a tiny bit of poop; not enough to hurt anything. I mixed the dough well and, chances are, you won’t be able to taste anything weird. I baked these things at 350 degrees, so any bacteria or germs are surely destroyed.”

The boys continued to stare at their father in disbelief. “Why would you do that, Dad,” the oldest ventured when he realized his Dad wasn’t kidding.

“Well, son,” the father replied. “I guess, to teach you guys a lesson in hypocrisy. I mean, what’s the difference between eating a brownie containing dog poop, and being willing to allow your eyes to watch a cuss-word-riddled movie that contains ‘some’ sex and violence? Either way your body and soul are afflicted by things God never meant for human beings to expose themselves to. Am I right or wrong?”

Each boy’s gaze dropped to the floor when their father’s little lesson in hypocrisy began to sink in. Without another word, they looked at their father and then at each other; then quietly turned to leave the room.

(Author unknown; updated and edited by Carmen Welker)

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