I’ll be honest with you – Mothers’ Day always depresses me because I hated my mother! I hated her for being a chain-smoking, alcoholic prostitute who caused me to have an ugly scar on my nose in her attempt to abort me with a knitting needle.
I hated her for giving me up at birth and then jerking me out of my foster home at the age of 9 to live with her and her new, American Army sergeant husband - a raving pedophile who sexually abused me for many years. (The law said she couldn’t leave Germany unless all the children she had given away were adopted, and my foster parents were unable to adopt me).
I hated her for giving me away when I was only six weeks old, to a dirt-poor, middle-aged couple on welfare, who lived in a three-room shack without electricity or running water. I hated her for ultimately ending up marrying and divorcing 8 times, causing endless uproar and chaos in the lives of me and my younger half-brothers who were forced to change “fathers” and schools at the drop of a hat. I hated her for sleeping with my first husband on the night before my wedding….
I HATED my mother for myriad reasons, until the day she died at the age of 45, when it finally dawned on me that, “mistake” or not, without her, I wouldn’t be here.
It was at that point that I began to miss her and wished we could have figured out a way for us to close the gap and communicate. The couple attempts I had made at communication, failed miserably because she was appalled at the idea that I harbored some ill feelings toward her. In her mind, she was the only person on the planet who was allowed to have feelings.
While I was able to admit that “I actually DID love her because she was my mother,’ I could NOT bring myself to let go of the anger, disappointment and endless misery her life’s choices had caused me.
But all that changed the day the Ruach haKodesh (Holy Spirit) got a hold of me at the age of 44, and taught me how to forgive. Not to forget, but to FORGIVE so that the past could no longer hold me captive. Everything changed when I discovered that we are to honor our mothers and fathers. (Not necessarily to “love” or even “like” them, but to HONOR them – Exodus 20:12.)
That’s when it hit me that I – a sinner like my mother – had no right to judge her or wish her in hell; for we all make mistakes and poor choices along life’s many paths, where especially the “unsaved” tend to take all the wrong turns.
Yes, things changed when the Ruach opened my eyes and I was able to admit that I, too, had been living aimlessly with the consequences of some poor choices and decisions I had made over the course of my life. Things changed exponentially the day I accepted יהוה as my God and realized Y’shua had died to redeem me and to show me a “better way”….
If you are among those who, for whatever reason, has a hard time with the concept of Mothers’ Day, then I would urge you to turn your feelings over to ADONAI and “just let go,” because He cannot do anything with those who refuse to drop their “baggage.”
Allow the Ruach to show you how to forgive and thus free yourself from the demons of your past. You are HIS child, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and you deserve to be freed from captivity. He did it for the Israelites and He can certainly do it for you! All you have to do is ask.
Psalm 51:2-5 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. (ESV)
Ecclesiastes 7:20 Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins. (ESV)
Isaiah 43:25 25 I, yes I, am the one who blots out your offenses for my own sake; I will not remember your sins. (CJB)
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (ESV)
1 John 1:9. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all our iniquity. (AENT)
Acts 3:19 Repent therefore and turn back, for the blotting out of your sins, in order that times of refreshing might come from the presence of the Master, 20 and that He sends יהושע Messiah, pre-appointed for you, 21 whom heaven needs to receive until the times of restoration of all matters, of which Elohim spoke through the mouth of all His set-apart prophets since of old.
22 “For Mosheh truly said to the fathers, ‘יהוה your Elohim shall raise up for you a Prophet like me from your brothers. Him you shall hear according to all matters, whatever He says to you.
23 ‘And it shall be that every being who does not hear that Prophet shall be utterly destroyed from among the people.’ (ISR; see also Deut. 18:18-20.)