Every once in awhile someone writes to our website with concerns about a friend or family member who is confused about their gender. "What do I do/what do I say to them?"
Our answer is always something like this:
First and foremost, be a true, godly example by living your faith. Never "cave in" by making comments such as, "Well, God loves you/made you that way/knows your heart, and it's okay to be who you are" - because that simply isn't true!
Let's take a look:
Genesis 1:27 So God created humankind in his own image; in the image of God he created him: male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them: God said to them, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it..." (CJB)
How can someone be "fruitful and multiply" if they refuse HIS gender assignment and/or have taken steps to surgically change their gender? They aren't pleasing Him by rejecting HIS will....
He also said this:
Deuteronomy 22:5 "A woman is not to wear men's clothing, and a man is not to put on women's clothing, for whoever does these things is detestable to ADONAI your God. (CJB)
If something we do is "detestable" or "an abomination" in His eyes, WHY would we want to do it - except for the purposes of pleasing our own flesh? Our flesh eventually DIES and we WILL stand before Him one day and, according to Scripture, there won't be any "tolerance" on His part....
The problem in our modern world is that transgenderism,and what people are calling "fluid sexuality" (where they can decide "what gender they wish to emulate" on any given day) have crept into our society and are being accepted as "normal" by "the world."
The thing is, Scripture tells us that God never changes (Numbers 23:19; Hebrews 13:8, etc.). ELOHIM is HOLY, and He laid down some loving, holy rules for mankind to follow. We have the choice to follow, or not ... but doing so has severe consequences, and this is what we must get through to those who are living sinful lifestyles.
Be sure to tell your friend or family member that YHWH is not a God of confusion. When He created man, He made them male and female - two genders that are called to not only reflect the image and likeness of God, but to also represent Him in the stewardship of His good and wonderful creation (Genesis 1:28-29).
Male and female also reflect YHWH in the unity in marriage when they become "one flesh" (see Genesis 2:23-24; Matthew 19: 3-6; Mark 10: 6-9; Ephesians 5:28-32) and thus bring forth new life that will also reflect His Holy Image (character). When we are "fruitful and multiply and fill the earth," we spread God's image around the world (Genesis 1:28). To actively deny or reject this privilege by attempting to tamper with the gender HE assigned you, is not only a grievous sin, but it is also basically a slap in the Face of our Creator!
So, yes, by all means, be gentle and continue to love them, no matter what. But always be on the lookout for a chance to share YHWH's Word, whenever the opportunity arises. No need to be pushy or arrogant with someone who doesn't know (or care) about Scripture.
Whenever you can, present YHWH's Truth and allow the Ruach (Holy Spirit) to speak into your friend's or family member's life, and then let it go. You will turn them off if you continue to harp on the subject.