Tuesday, March 29, 2022


You’ve surely all noticed that YHWH doesn’t answer our every prayer as we would like, and that sometimes, the answer is a resounding “NO!”

Truth is, we need to thank God for that, because He knows what is best for His children – whether we like it, or not. More often than not, we NEVER discover the reason for His “NO!” answer; but when we do, it can literally send us reeling….

Matter of fact, I’m still, to this day, awe-stricken over the discovery in the year 2000, exactly WHY Abba had refused my years-long prayers to return the “love of my youth” to me! I mean, after every breakup (and there were lots), I had literally, off and on, begged for the return of my high-school sweetheart, David, for approximately 20 years!

I was madly in love with David when I was 17. David was my everything. I would have walked off a cliff for David. He was my best friend on earth, so kind, loving and understanding - and he knew all my deepest, darkest secrets. I had even confided to him that my adoptive father had been sexually abusing me since the age of 9 (something that angered David to the point of wanting to murder my father).

I remember freaking out, because I had a hard time convincing David to keep my secret...and there was NO doubt in my mind that “Dad” would have killed both of us! My adoptive father was evil personified. He was a psycho with a violent temper who had absolutely no reservation about physically hurting humans or animals. (Matter of fact, just before I turned 14, he had sent me to the hospital with internal injuries when I worked up the courage one night to threaten to tell the cops on him when he came creeping into my bedroom...)

David ultimately relented and promised to take me far away from it all after high school. But when he joined the Air Force, he was immediately sent to Korea, where he fell in love with, and married a Korean woman, and we never saw each other again.

Heartbroken beyond belief, I decided to “snap out of it,” and forge my own destiny. So, after high school, I joined the Army and started my own career, while at the same time, attending night classes at local colleges wherever I was stationed for the next 22 years….

I did my fair share of “dating” and even marrying (my first husband was a major Heroin addict who ultimately killed a friend of his while high on Heroin). When I divorced him, I contacted David’s mother, only to discover that David was still happily married and had two little daughters. I had secretly hoped that his marriage would have failed by now, and that he would find me, and we could ride off into the sunset together. Matter of fact, I PRAYED that would happen!

But, back then I didn’t know that YHWH hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and so I prayed off and on over the years (after every break-up with all the “broken” guys I used to attract) for God to bring my David back to me. He had been a rock for me, and I didn’t understand why he had been able to simply find another woman to marry!

Anyway, my prayers all seemed to have fallen on deaf ears and sometimes I wondered if there really was “a God” because if there was, He surely KNEW that David was the love of my life!

But He never answered that prayer.

And then in the year 2000, I finally found out why: Turns out the “love of my life” was – like my adoptive father – a raving pedophile, who was serving a 20-year prison sentence for getting his 12-year-old daughter pregnant. (By then, I had had access to the Internet and had found David’s parents (with whom I had kept in contact off and on throughout the years) to let them know I had FINALLY found happiness with a man named Bill Welker…)

Well, to coin a hackneyed phrase, ya coulda knocked me over with a feather! I NEVER, in my wildest dreams, expected my David to be able to do something like that! How COULD he have done that, when he used to date me - someone whose life had been ruined because of sexual abuse? It was absolutely inconceivable and incomprehensible!

After the phone call ended, all I could think was, “Oh, THANK GOD! Thank GOD! Thank YOU, Father, for NOT answering my prayers!” Had David married me, it would have been MY daughter he would have sexually abused - and I know I WOULD have killed him and ended up in prison for murder…

I can’t recall any other “unanswered prayers,” but today, as a mature believer, I am wise enough to understand and accept whatever God’s Will is in my life. Our Heavenly Father KNOWS what we need and don’t need, and that’s ALL that really matters. Halleluyah!

James 4: 3. You ask, and do not receive because you ask wickedly, that you may feed your lusts. 4. You adulterers, don’t you know that the love of the world is hatred towards Elohim? He therefore who chooses to be a lover of this world is the enemy of Elohim. 5. Or do you think that the Scripture has vainly said: The spirit dwelling in us lusts with envy? 6. But our Master (Y’shua) has given us more grace. Therefore he said: Master YHWH brings low the arrogant, and gives grace to the humble.

7. Subject yourselves therefore to Elohim; and stand firm against the Accuser and he will flee from you. 8. Draw near to Elohim and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners: sanctify your hearts, you who are divided in mind. 9. Humble yourselves and mourn: let your laughter be turned into mourning, and your joy into grief. 10. Humble yourselves before Master YHWH and He will exalt you. (AENT)

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written. Thank you for this heavenly perspective on unanswered prayers. I’m also deeply sorry for what you went through. I pray that our Lord will restore 10 fold for what the enemy stole from you. I pray that He would heal and renew, that he would give you beauty for ashes.


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